All The Little Things

It’s funny

all the little things

we do

to hide

in plain sight.

The incessant pain

of living through

the many

sleepless

nights.

Under stars which

illuminute

our puffy eyes and

superficial grins,

or

the creaking of

my broken heart

and bloodshot

dreams.

 

It’s funny

how we can

laugh,

we can cry,

but we can

never

reveal the

pain

inside.

How

screaming

as loud as a million

birds

will fall

on deaf ears,

every word

unheard.

 

It’s funny

how

our corrupted smiles

show ancient scars

travelling many the miles through

places which

refuse to be

smothered by the

confines of cloth,

and yet

everyone turns

a blind eye

to the lost.

 

The rest of us don’t even try to hide in plain sight. We just sit and talk as our happiness takes flight. As our grip on reality slips like a ribbon through our palms. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. Oh how the twelvth hour commands…

 

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RELEASE ME FROM YOUR MIND

I will sit here in silence,

pen gripped in my hand.

Mind racing,

thoughts buzzing,

I shall take a stand.

Their signals will blaze,

a great heat in the night,

with words once unspoken

not all of them right.

 

-x-

 

Inside they will

fight and divide,

crowding the process

which I use to write.

And as they do,

I’ll allow them

to swallow me whole,

and scream in my ear:

I WILL NOT BE KEPT CHAINED,

ENVELOPED WITH FEAR

 

-x-

 

RELEASE ME NOW

ONTO THE PAGE

LIKE GUSHING BLOOD

FROM A POURING VEIN.

LET THIS NEEDLE TATTOO

SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR HEAD,

WE’RE NO LONGER A BURDEN

YOU CARRY TO BED.

 

-x-

 

HERE WE HARBOUR

YOUR HARDSHIPS AND SORROWS,

CONFINED BETWEEN LINES,

AS THE CACOPHONOUS ANGER SPILLS

FROM YOUR MIND.

 

-x-

 

So I sit here in silence,

pen gripped in my hand.

Mind racing,

thoughts buzzing,

I must take a stand.

Their signals are blazing,

like heat in the night,

with words once unspoken,

not all of them kind.

 

-x-

 

BRING LIFE

TO YOUR MIND

THROUGH A SWAN SONG AND

LET YOUR TEARS

BE GONE.

DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME

BROKEN, MY DEAR.

LET HOPE CARRY YOU

ALONG.

 

-x-

 

I wish I could obey

their every command,

but tears act

like wind over burning sand.

They persistently

defy the bounds

of the lines,

smudging all legibility,

in a brine soaked fight.

 

-x-

 

All that remains

are grey streaks of

memories.

All meaning

now

suddenly

lost.

 

-x-

 

So I sat there in silence,

pen gripped in my hand.

Mind racing,

thoughts buzzing,

why did I take a stand?

Their signals were blazing

like heat in the night,

with words once unspoken

but all of them

mine.

 

As Time Stands Still

Here I am, still in my tracks in the pouring rain. As sharp as icicles, every droplet dares to scratch beneath the surface, attempting to pierce through my catatonic countenance, begging for a trickle of emotion to slip right through the mask. But my skin remains thick as time stands still.

Won’t you stand here with me and listen to the blaring cries resounding amongst the blinding lights filling the starry sky as two worlds collide? Their embers may end or trigger a spark of new life. This is what I sit and ponder as time stands still.

Is the glass grasped tightly in my fist half-full or half-empty? Should I drink it all or let the glass shatter across the ground? An elderly friend now reduced to limping to her gurney, helpless and desperate, now swept off of her feet by two heroes in green. Should I smile or should I frown?

No, I won’t listen to what my Mother says when she hopes and prays for this woman to end. Why must we hate on those we disagree with? Is it easier for us to wish death upon our fellow neighbour as her final hours chime? Is this hate empty or sincere? Won’t you acknowledge my siblings’ presence before you speak such distaste? Children as malleable as time. They’ll one day know what pain is like when time stands still for the unfortunate few.

I Will Learn to Fly

And so my heart sank, washed away by the world as the sea abandoned me. I was left high and dry on an island for two. The memory of you choked me. I suffocated helplessly and you were there to spectate my brutal asphyxiation. You threw daggers shaped like words at my naked corpse. I was nothing on our final day and yet I allow you still to haunt me like a tragic past.

You’re a ghost without a mind of your own. Aimlessly you amble through the woods, always by my side, taunting me because that is the only thing you know how to do.

I wish I could disconnect you from my mind. Pull the plug and watch you try to hurt me with a thousand empty lies. I’ll flip the switch and watch your life play past my tired eyes as the light fades from the spokes of your abandoned mind. I’ll stand there and watch you die. I won’t protest if the wind sweeps your ashes from off of their feet. I’ll let you fly away and disperse amongst the green. For you are nothing to me. Maybe even just salt to the sea.

So don’t you dare grab a hold of me as I spread my wings and soar through the burning skies. I will be the one to let the fantasy die and I’m running from its embers tonight. You wouldn’t dare to put up a fight with a warrior tempered in the flames of time. A weapon so sharp I could slice through anything if I cared to try. You wouldn’t stand a chance against the fallen.

STILL BOUND BY HER CHILDS EYES

How naive does a girl have to be to mistake the glistening reflection of light from a malice’s heart for a waving flag of pure white held up to the Sun?

-x-

Though I may fight, I will still run.

Echoes of Reconciliation

Is this the sound of reconciliation – a blessing from above? A metallic mist once poisoned the soil of the land we called love. And in that very spot erupted an ego, a body of conceit wrapped in the pure ignorance of masculinity. My tear stained cheeks froze as you failed to notice that I was fragile too. I was already scattered along the battlefield, empty and hopeless; The only living reminder of myself was in the dust. Ashes to ashes. But the storm switched sides. Every fragment collided in a violent haze. My lethal winds stole the air from your lungs and you too fell to the floor, your feeble armour taking flight. Your catatonic smile still imprinted upon your mask, I turned my face as not to feel pity for you, for I once bore that fear.

In a way, we are both like whirlwinds, tearing each other apart. But we are cowards toying with masks and hiding behind chest plates as its promised protection made us feel alive. When we played with fire we failed to acknowledge that we were one and the same. Our love was never tempered by the flame – it only burned and collapsed like a skyscraper in the midst of war. Like cats, we were left shell-shocked when we peered into each other’s eyes because it was like staring into a mirror. The unrelenting fear of ourselves, buried deep within, allowed us to tear each other down as not to be reminded of our own insecurities. I believe that we were one and the same. We just needed to grow up and face the music. And now that we have done just that, I wouldn’t mind giving peace another chance.